For parents who will be adding a new baby to their family, a big worry is to how prepare older siblings for the new baby’s presence in their life. There are a ton of wonderful sibling courses available out there through local hospitals and birthing centers, but what if parents would like to develop something all on their own? It is easy to develop your own sibling-preparation course; here are a few ideas to keep in mind.

Talk to the big siblings about how they will be able to interact with the baby.
Talking to your older children about things they will be able to do with the new baby helps to get them excited for their job as big brother/big sister. Before their brother was born, my boys looked forward to playing peek-a-boo with the baby, reading him stories, helping mommy change diapers, and singing to the baby. We also talked about all of the great things that they would be able to teach the baby when he gets bigger, everything from showing him how to play baseball to swinging with him at the park.

Be realistic about what life will be like when the baby comes home.
When our new baby was just a month away, we began talking with B and E (age 2.5) about how life would change when the baby came home. We explained that mommy would be really tired and need to rest and that the baby would need lots of attention from mommy and daddy. We also talked about how the baby would be pretty boring for a long time, not even learning to smile for a month or so. I stressed these points because, as much as I wanted the boys to be excited about their brother, I worried about them expecting to be able to have fun playing with the baby starting the day he came home from the hospital, only to be let down. In addition, while explaining all of the time that the baby will need from mommy and daddy, we also talked about all of the things that big boys can do that babies can’t - eat cookies, play at the park, go to school, etc.

Talk about when older siblings were born.
Looking at pictures, watching movies, and talking about what happened when older siblings were born can be a great way to introduce them to what early life is like. They see how tiny babies are and hear about how they, too, were welcomed into the world by friends and family.

Read books with your children.
There are a ton of great choices for children’s books that help to prepare children for the arrival of a new baby and their role as big siblings. I previously reviewed some of my favorites, which can be found here.

These are just a few ideas of ways to help big siblings prepare for all of the upcoming changes in their lives. There is no right or wrong answer to this - you just need to follow your heart to decide what is right for your family. - Sara I.

Adding a new baby to a family is a big step for everyone, parents and children alike, and getting big brothers and sisters ready for all the changes ahead is an important part of the process. When I was researching how to get B and E ready for the arrival of their baby brother, everyone I spoke with had positive experiences reading books with their children. There are many books that explain different aspects of adding a new baby to the family, from mommy and baby being at the hospital to the fun of being a big brother or sister. Here is a quick run-down of some of the books I've enjoyed, as well as one commonly recommended by other parents.


What Baby Needs by William Sears, Martha Sears, and Christie Watts Kelly

This book is one of my favorites on the subject of new babies. The focus of What Baby Needs is on helping big siblings make friends with the new baby, and it addresses all the things that big siblings can do that babies can't. The book is especially good for nursing families because it includes a picture of the baby nursing and talks about mommy providing milk. The foreword at the beginning of the book addresses how to personalize the book to your own family, and it is fairly easy to use the sidebar topics to make the book more on the level of elementary-aged children, too.


I’m a Big Brother and I’m a Big Sister, both by Joanna Cole

Written at a toddler level, these books talk about the fun of being a big brother or sister. They also stress the fact that mom and dad will always love the big brother or sister.


Mommy’s in the Hospital Having a Baby by Maxine B. Rosenberg

This is the only book I found to really address mom and baby being in the hospital for the baby’s birth. I personally think this book is most valuable for the photographs of mom and baby in the hospital, including pictures of a mom nursing and a baby with its blackened umbilical cord stub (which both of my boys immediately asked about). It is a bit outdated in that it talks about the baby spending a significant amount of time in the nursery, which isn’t the case in most hospitals today. But it does address many other hospital issues like the special bed mom gets to sleep in, the baby bassinets that roll up and down the halls, calling mommy (or having mommy call you) when she is in the hospital, and what it will be like to visit mommy. This definitely wouldn’t be my only baby-preparation book, but it has been great to give my fellas a glimpse into what will happen when I am in the hospital with the new baby.

Have you found books that have been especially helpful in preparing for the new baby? Share them here! - Sara I.

When parents find out they are expecting a second (or third, or fourth...) child, one of the first thoughts in their minds is trying to figure out how to prepare the current family for its new addition. There is no time like the present to start getting little one’s siblings ready for all of the big changes ahead.

One of the first big decisions parents need to make about preparing their children for a new baby is deciding when to tell them about the impending arrival. I have heard many different opinions about this, and there are many different schools of thought that could work for your family. I know of parents of young children who held off telling them about the new baby for as long as possible because nine months is many lifetimes for a young child and because they were too young to understand much of what was going on.

I subscribe to the philosophy that it is best to be upfront with children as soon as possible. We decided to tell our twins, B and E, about the new baby before we told anyone else. My husband and I knew that the boys would be faced with many people asking them about becoming big brothers, and we wanted to be sure we talked to them about it first. Plus, B and E were just past their second birthdays, so they could understand what we were telling them.

Explanations don’t have to be too specific or in-depth. Our new baby is due in October, so we explained to the boys that there was a baby growing in mommy’s tummy, that he needed lots of time to grow big and strong, and that he would come to live with us around Halloween.

If you have multiple children, how and when did you share the news with the post-natal kids? Are there any tricks that have worked especially well for you? - Sara I.